Girls Can Be Anything

Photo by Jenny Livingston

“Don't tell kids "girls can be anything!" They wouldn't have thought otherwise- just raise them strong, dummy.”

~Sarah Silverman, Facebook

My husband, a big Sarah Silverman fan, recently read that quote to me and I immediately wished I could reach through the computer and give her a hug. Finally, I thought, someone who gets it! Someone who understands that a big part of the battle for gender equality is rooted in the fact that we are reinforcing gender stereotypes simply by loudly fighting against them. 

A girl who wants to build houses when she grows up but from a young age is hit over the head with images of only male construction workers, architects, and engineers will probably lose interest at some point no matter how forcefully we tell her she can do whatever she wants. Yes we are telling her she can do it, but we are also pointing out that she is going to be different from her peers if she does at a time when most children are doing their best to fit in. But let’s back up and look at why we feel so compelled to tell our kids “girls can be anything!” 

Imagery and visualization are essential to to our ability to think critically and process the world around us. For children, whose young minds haven’t yet learned to evaluate the images that surround them, those images have enormous influence on their development. The segregation of children’s toys not only sends girls the message that science and math hold no future for them, that their brains are not built to process complicated equations, but it also sends boys the message that girls don't belong in those fields.

Girls don’t shy away from toy construction tools or action figures because they don’t have the visuospatial acuity to use them or because they naturally gravitate toward dolls and toy kitchens. They gravitate toward “girl toys” because they see the pictures of girls on the packaging and in the commercials for those products telling them that these toys are made for them and because starting from birth the gifts that roll in from well-meaning friends and relatives tend to adhere to segregated norms.  

As a toddler, my daughter showed more interest in her older boy cousins’ toy tool bench and screw driver set than they do because it hasn’t occurred to her yet that those toys are only supposed to be for boys and luckily no one in our family has ever discouraged her from playing when them when she visits. Her favorite gift last Christmas was a toy jig saw that was intended for her male cousin. My daughter doesn’t gravitate to her “girl” set of Duplos more than her gender neutral set or prefer her Little Mermaid chariot over her hammer toy, but now that she is three and heavily influenced by the other girls in her preschool, it is turing into an uphill battle to keep it that way as she becomes more aware of the gender rules promoted through advertising and other media.

To blame this gender segregation completely on modern toy manufacturers would be looking at the issue too simply. They make toys they think will sell and market those toys to the kids they think will buy them based on previous experience. They know girls have always been their main market for dolls and boys have been their main market for action figures. As profit is their main goal, they really have no incentive to re-educate consumers. Marketing toy construction equipment to girls is a risk that may pay off in the long run, but they have no motivation to try, and so the cycle of gender segregated toys continues (side note: my father-in-law recently bought my daughter an eco-friendly pink and purple dump truck he found in independent toy store that my daughter now uses to drive her dolls around, particularly Supergirl when she is too tired to fly; however, these sorts of toys are not readily available in mainstream toy stores). That being said, toy manufacturers do seem to often willfully ignore ideas that would start to change the status quo. A good example of this is the recent limited edition Research Institute line of Legos that features 3 female scientists with no pink or purple to be found. Despite it massive popularity Lego apparently has no plans to mass produce this line or anything like it.

So what is effective at changing these gender norms? Do we simply chuck our girls' Barbie and Bratz dolls out the window and replace them with erector sets? I would argue, no. The problem isn't with the individual products, but the lack of diversity of products marketed toward girls.

When we look at the history of social progress, some of the most effective catalysts for social change has been the imagery in popular media. Whatever you might currently think of Bill Cosby, The Cosby Show was extremely successful while depicting a highly educated upper-middle class black family surrounded by a highly educated upper-middle class black community, something that was unheard of at the time. Bill Cosby was a pioneer in a movement to change the United States’ narrative of the black community and fight racial stereotypes. Will and Grace arguably did something similar for the LGBT community helping to pave the way for last year's historic Supreme Court ruling. I mention these two shows as an illustration of the effectiveness of imagery on our collective conscience in shifting our perspective of what is normal. I doubt anyone would say that either of these shows caused a tipping point for either minority community as both clearly have a long way to go before they achieve true equality, but they have been important pop-cultural narratives that have aided the gradual shifting of America to a more equal society.

To look at it another way, when we introduce new foods to our children it can take several times before they accept the texture and flavor into their repertoire of acceptable foods. It is much the same for changing our society’s collective norm. We need increasing exposure to a new idea or habit before we internalize it. This is why it can take several months before a routine is truly established and why social change can be so laboriously slow.

“For younger kids, repetition is really valuable. They demand it. When they see a show over and over again, they not only are understanding it better, which is a form of power, but just by predicting what is going to happen, I think they feel a real sense of affirmation and self-worth.”

― Malcolm Gladwell, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

If we want our children to grow up in a more equal world, we need to raise them surrounded by the images of the society we want them to inhabit. Their collective acceptance of these images will turn them into reality as their generation grows and their views come to dominate our social conscience, just as the LGBT community has gained wider acceptance as Millennials, who are far more likely to be accepting of the LGBT community than previous generations  If we want more women (or any minority groups) in STEM fields, we need to raise all of our children surrounded by diverse images of children playing with Legos or chemistry sets and make it the norm, not an exception to the rule.

So, what do we do if toy manufacturers won’t change their tunes and Production Studios still churn out the same old male-dominated media that they always do? We start small and take matters into our own hands or support entrepreneurs who are trying to change the dominant business models. Many of Hollywood’s leading ladies are doing just that as the well of good female parts have dried up by creating their own studios with the express purpose of producing women-centric films such as Reese Witherspoon’s recent film, Wild.  As inevitably controversial as the GoldieBlox toy company used Kickstarter successfully to fund the creation of their toys that encourage girls to be engineers. As my long-time boss always tells me, “we will just Little Red Hen it!” In other words, we must do it ourselves. We must create the books and movies and toys we want our kids to read and spread them through grassroots channels and support efforts of others who are creating products to inspire change (my current go-to birthday gift for my daughter's friends is the book Rosie Revere Engineer). I'm even working on my own children's book project (let me know if you are an illustrator looking for a project).

Tell me what you think in the comments below.